There’s something heart-wrenching about the passing of a loved one. A dear long-time friend of mine passed away last year. To me, her passing was unexpected in the fact that I did not know she had stage-four pancreatic cancer and only found out about a month prior to her passing. She said she didn’t want anyone to know. I was attempting to get together with her for lunch, but by the time we were at a place to meet up, she was terribly ill and apparently failing fast. She told me she was on chemotherapy and radiation, but I don’t think either one of us knew how quickly her body would fail following our conversation.
That conversation involved her questioning life and her need for reassurance that God would accept her into heaven; her religion and the intricacies of her faith; her sorrow for having to leave her family and her regret at being a burden to them (which she wasn’t). All the things, I’m sure, one would start to ponder when knowing our last days are approaching. I reassured her that she would go to heaven, that her faith was strong, and that she truly was not a burden to her family. Little did we know that would be our last “real” conversation prior to her entering hospice, and, just a short time later, her husband called and indicated that she didn’t have much longer to live. So unexpected and heartbreaking! She and I had hoped the chemo and radiation would work. I immediately went to the hospice center to visit with her. She was very weak, thin and unrecognizable, and did not have the strength to talk but she did know I was there and smiled a few times at something I said. I wanted to spend as much time with her as I possibly could without over-staying as I knew she did not have much longer. I stopped by the following day only to find her unresponsive, and she quietly passed a few hours after I had left. I was not ready for her to die, she did not want to die, and life has not been the same without her funny, quirky, laughter and humor, and her sweet and caring personality. She is missed by many.
It’s not as if I haven’t lived through the pain of loss before, but each time someone close passes on, there is a whole new sense of heart-wrenching grief. Somehow, we who have experienced loss can strangely feel that same grief even for others who have lost loved ones because we have walked that journey ourselves and know what they are going through.
Another great friend’s father recently passed away somewhat unexpectedly. To the family, he seemed healthy, though elderly, and his deteriorating condition and death were a shock to the family. I attended the visitation service and could clearly see the pain of loss on my friend’s face. I could also see the love and pain on several of the family members and friend’s faces, and I thought to myself…..”That’s love right there”….. love and sorrow deeply etched on the faces of those in attendance. He surely was a fine caring man, husband, father, grandfather, friend, etc., and this was clearly evident during the service. The next day, following the service, I wrote the above poem, “That’s Love Right There.”
All I could give my friend during the visitation was a huge hug, telling her I was so sorry and sharing that I understood her pain because I have been there.
We have all pretty much walked this path with the passing of loved ones on our journey through this life. It’s never pleasant and often hurts more than one can possibly know until it happens.
Jesus knew the pain of such loss. His dear friend, Lazarus, was very ill, and He heard of his friend’s illness through a message sent from Lazarus’s sisters, Martha and Mary. When Jesus arrived and found those gathered around weeping at the death of Lazarus, Jesus wept. (John 11) Jesus saw their love and felt their pain.
Death is so hard because there is finality to it. We know we will not see our loved ones again in this lifetime. We often cry because of our own personal loss knowing we can no longer see or visit with them, but we also can gain comfort in knowing they will no longer suffer from any further pain and will now be at peace.
So, as I sat through the visitation, I did see love right there in front of me and contemplated all of these things, and I wanted to share my thoughts with you today on the inspiration I received in witnessing the love many had for this man who is no longer with them…….and the love many of us witness in similar situations. We know God understands and has walked that path with us.
Yes, I can truly say….”That’s love right there, I’m thinkin’!”
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: And I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.” (Psalm 23)
Photo behind poem is by Jan Sola on Unsplash.
For daily inspiration, check out my Author’s Facebook Page: Lisa Michele Neu. Also please check out my book, “The Fingers of God,” for Christian Inspiration available online through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, (local Christian stores: Divine Truth and Parables), and this website.
